Social Media Break

Taking a break from social media. I’ve been thinking about it for a long time and finally decided it was the right thing to do. I’ve taken small breaks here and there over the years but had convinced myself that I NEEDED it to further my writing career and stay up to date with friends and social/political causes. I’m not going to lie, it’s going to take some adjusting. As much as I love connecting with others from afar especially during these times, I was starting to notice how much more addictive it was becoming. I caught myself scrolling on Instagram one day while I wasn’t even looking at my phone, just my finger moving. It was fucking weird. After watching The Social Dilemma it reaffirmed my suspicions and made it clear that I need to put this HUGELY TIME-CONSUMING part of my life on pause. I don’t want to participate in any type of technology that can predict and control my emotions and actions. Fuck no.

Being an Empath also makes the social media experience extremely intense for me most times. It makes me irritable. I get submerged into everything and everyone and I have a hard time deciphering my own feelings. Watching friends post material opposite of what I know is going on internally got me feeling particularly turned off by the platforms. It’s too damn distracting and confusing for self-identity and self-assurance. The whole pretending to be someone you aren’t or that you wish you were for the likes of others can’t be healthy. Having our online identity be the main source of our dopamine rushes throughout the day is, of course, a major setup for disappointment, insecurity, addiction, and depression.

So much of what I see on social media is thriving off emotional triggers of an already emotionally exhausted and traumatized people and I just can’t get down with that. I can’t get down with watching people I know become more and more cynical and divided because they think their truth is more superior. Who the fuck are we to be battling others on something they have to discover themselves? Unfortunately, many people only care about social justice and human rights when it becomes personal to them. You can only do so much, people have to be curious, they have to WANT to change their views. The truth is, everyone is living in what they believe to be true to themselves, even if it seems crazy to someone else, it’s still true for them. It’s also worth mentioning that most people’s views have become radicalized by the way social media’s algorithms work anyway so it’s not as black and white as it seems when it comes to good vs evil, mask vs no mask, democrat vs republican.

If feels as though social media is slowly turning us into inflexible, intolerable, and impatient people. Where’s the room for growth in that? Exploring, accepting other views, ways, cultures is what’s supposed to make this experience more successful, colorful, and exciting. I refuse to put myself up against others any longer in this setting and I refuse to passively ingest this mess with very little outlets of real action. I figured it’s better to take it the fuck down a notch and center myself on what’s in front me. My community, my healing, my writing, my relationships, my empath writing workshops and retreats, too much to even state. I have to remember that what I bring to this life, my influence, my type of magic, is not meant to be wasted on social media. It’s also important to remember we can still be social and political activists and participants without having our every move be tracked, stored, manipulated, and controlled through an app.

So how many sunrises and sunsets have you missed while staring at your phone?

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I would love to hear your thoughts and experiences on your relationship with social media.

Sunset in Oaxaca City

Get Some Rest

Hands raised,⁣⁣
No fight left in this particular battle,⁣⁣
Because you hide beneath the surface.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I’ve dulled knives digging,⁣⁣
Skinning myself like a rabbit,⁣⁣
Only to find flesh sensitive to wind and touch,⁣⁣
Still, you rear your vile head, ⁣⁣
Poisoning me and others.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I shun, I beg, ⁣⁣
I curse and rip your rotten roots but it’s too late⁣⁣
and back you go into your secret hiding place.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
⁣⁣
I have to reconcile, ⁣⁣
This time, all strategies exhausted,⁣⁣
I invited you to the dinner.⁣⁣
I let you take over and take me,⁣⁣
Smashing plates,⁣⁣
Spitting food and flipping tables.⁣⁣
⁣⁣
Hijacked and to the edge of breathless peace in death,⁣⁣
You bored as a tired child does, ⁣⁣
Curling into my loving arms as I whispered,⁣⁣
“Now get some rest you relentless fuck.”⁣⁣

Photo by Hamish Weir on Unsplash

Get In Get Out

I sharpened them just for you,
Cat clawing from the barrel only to reach the impenetrable layer.

Back to the bottom,
Hollow and damp,

Harvest light cracking through the seams and I can smell and feel the other side despite being contained.

I shaped the wind,
Wrapping it tightly around my oppressor,
I shook the earth with might,
I shattered the sound barrier with screams

And when the walls, rotted with tears and bloody claw marks finally crumbled,
The only person I recognized was myself.

Juneteenth 2020

Juneteenth.⁣
No more fucking around.⁣
It’s time for TOTAL LIBERATION of our Black brothers and sisters, including the Black LGBTQIA community.
It’s time to change what the American flag represents.⁣
There are layers to systematic oppression that affect some MUCH worse than others and to fight the supervillain of this experimental government, we must go ALL THE WAY back to our constitution.⁣
We must fight against all forms of oppression.⁣
We must recognize that no “political party” is going to save us.⁣
We must shake out every sheet.⁣
We must challenge our process of thought.⁣
We must use our endurance, love, and intelligence to fight for one another and to ensure that we never let another oppressed community go unheard.⁣
Suffering does not stop and start with each individual, ⁣
It travels, it jumps, it burrows, it resurfaces,⁣
We’re ALL connected and in this fight together.⁣
Where do you stand?⁣

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash


Removed but close enough,
Heart tightening for what’s to come,
Making me question where we end and another begins,
This God, weaved like fabric into every inch.

This is how we learn the lessons of strangers,
And you are anything but, 
Because I see you,
In your wildflowers resembling spilled paint,
In the wind that rolls through with the right words,
In the light that touches each of these hills.

No need for traditional introductions,
It’s a pleasure,
Wishing you the most peaceful journey,
And I’ll keep seeing you.

Stay Still, Don’t Spill

Stay still, don’t spill,
How many hours of different ceilings I’ve stared I couldn’t say,
Body straight, you travel,
burning, reminding.

Don’t be upset,
Don’t get anxious,
Because like an ear to train tracks,
It listens, It scouts, they vibrate.
Like a conductor in symphony,
It points, it waves, they play.

My bittersweet reminders,
How many must I have?
Through pain and challenged vanity,
I SLOW,
I LET GO,
I STAY HERE,
Because you love it too much when I disappear.

Photo by Ana Carolina Boy on Unsplash

Let it Rest

I took you out and admired your “so-called” perfection,⁣⁣
Brand new, vibrant,⁣⁣
I was curious and excited about all the places we could go,⁣⁣
All the memories we could make, ⁣⁣
But everything new gets old,⁣⁣
And it’s the endurance, ⁣
The aged authenticity that makes us grow in our relationships with ourselves and others,⁣⁣
And while I aged with scars and love, ⁣⁣
You remained exactly the same.⁣⁣
That once full feeling I got by praising your youth had transformed to hollow, ⁣⁣
And I finally learned that some are meant to be admired behind their glass and that is all. ⁣

Static

They came to visit last night,
Not the first and never the last.
Uninvited,
Frantic with stillness.
Living in between worlds,
And demanding I do the same.
“Wake up.” They whisper.
“I’m fucking tired, leave me alone.” I command.
And as always, they retreat back into the walls waiting for their next opportunity to share a story that I couldn’t care less about,
At least not at that hour.