Removed but close enough, Heart tightening for what’s to come, Making me question where we end and another begins, This God, weaved like fabric into every inch.
This is how we learn the lessons of strangers, And you are anything but, Because I see you, In your wildflowers resembling spilled paint, In the wind that rolls through with the right words, In the light that touches each of these hills.
No need for traditional introductions, It’s a pleasure, Wishing you the most peaceful journey, And I’ll keep seeing you.
Leakey, Texas. Thinking of you in these hills, Sisters barefoot and isolated, Only the trees lending an ear to your exceptionally curious minds, My own heart healing while honoring my unconditional love for you, And you.
I took you out and admired your “so-called” perfection, Brand new, vibrant, I was curious and excited about all the places we could go, All the memories we could make, But everything new gets old, And it’s the endurance, The aged authenticity that makes us grow in our relationships with ourselves and others, And while I aged with scars and love, You remained exactly the same. That once full feeling I got by praising your youth had transformed to hollow, And I finally learned that some are meant to be admired behind their glass and that is all.
They came to visit last night, Not the first and never the last. Uninvited, Frantic with stillness. Living in between worlds, And demanding I do the same. “Wake up.” They whisper. “I’m fucking tired, leave me alone.” I command. And as always, they retreat back into the walls waiting for their next opportunity to share a story that I couldn’t care less about, At least not at that hour.
I see you, Your probity beaming bright on my lack thereof. Slapping the lies I’ve ingested and built as my own. I’ve temporarily pleased off the pain of others, Only to be left starving and alone. Don’t be distracted by those who mistake your presence for impairment, Because we need you and I see you. And although at my most weak moments I continue to mistreat and misjudge the traces of your decency, I needn’t feed the same poison to others simply because it was fed to me.
We sat across each other admiring our mirrored features, I always knew you were in there. She winked. Perhaps why we’d never bore, Too many thoughts and conversations to be had, But to see you here on the outside of my thoughts while simultaneously still on the inside, Something different. I waved my arms overhead, And you crossed yours, “I’m not a fucking puppet.” I blushed and continued to study her charm. She stood up and did a beautiful spin just for me. She’s more graceful than me, I thought. We both started to laugh, echoing one another. It vibrated the room waking up my partner from his sleep. His eyes tired and struck, “Who the fuck are you talking to?” And when he flipped on the light she was gone. “Traitor,” I whispered.
Light peeking through the curtains, I smile with a sigh of relief. Today, I can see you, I even went to the roof to admire your rise. Making up for all the days your presence fails to penetrate my pit, Not today, I can see you sun, I mean really see you. Please, please stay.