I was walking to the store when he slammed on his breaks at the sight of me and rolled down the window. He whistled and made kissing noises and I screamed “Fuck off!”
If your a woman you know this is just an average Monday morning. I’ve heard the argument of “Why aren’t you just flattered, there are so many ugly women out there.” To you, I say fuck you man, yes of course you are a man. It’s rough growing up as a girl, your sexuality constantly being thrown in your lap when trying to go about doing average things.
I remember running into the corner store to get my mom a Diet Coke when I was 13 and I was groped by a man in his 40’s while reaching into the cooler. I ran out of the store and told my mom. She popped the trunk and grabbed a tire iron out with the quickness.
“Honey, what does he look like?”
“He has a cowboy hat, he’s the only one in there.” I was terrified.
My mother, 110 lbs ran into the store and took the tire iron to his knees. She skipped out and threw her hair back behind her neck. When she got in the car she threw the tire iron in my lap and sped out. “Looks like we’re gonna have to get a diet coke somewhere else.” We both looked down in my hands and found that I had, in fact, stolen the Diet Coke in the midst of things. We both laughed hysterically.
Thats the day I realized that this was no above average encounter for a woman. My mother was barely phased at the fact that she may have just broken a man’s legs. Although this may be an average encounter I decided, like mother, that I didn’t need to have an average reaction.
As soon as I said “Fuck off” the car screeched into the corner store that I was walking into. “Get over here you fucking cunt,” the man jumped out of the truck. I carry a gun on me at all times, one because I’m from Texas and I can, the other because I have to deal with assholes like this on a daily basis and I want to be prepared to defend myself. The gun I had on this particular day was unlicensed and virtually impossible to track back to my name thanks to my cousin Eddie.
The Pakistani man, my friend, that owns the corner store saw everything. I slipped an average size pale ale into my hand when the guy rushed in and grabbed me by the back of the head. I had no time to grab my gun. Right as I was about to swing the beer , Abdul shot the man in the arm.
“Abdul, thank you.”
“My friend. Are you okay?”
The man was rocking and moaning and holding his arm. I took the bottle to the man’s head and knocked him unconscious. “Yea I am good, you have a rag?”
Abdul threw me a rag and I wiped down my gun and placed it in the man’s right hand and shot at the ceiling. In the other hand I placed a candy bar.
In the news, the title read “Brave Woman and Pakistani Store Owner Fight Back Against Vicious Thief.”
Pakistani man hero? Definitely a win in this country. Woman hero? Win. Vicious thief. You lose fucker.
My mother would’ve been proud.