Contemptuously conditioned to stuff extremely complicated subjects into tiny boxes. Hoarding what’s ours and hissing at anyone who questions, No, threatens! I don’t believe that some are tougher than others. Sensitivity is the nature of our species, Some of us are just better liars, Cloaking ourselves in more acceptable emotions like indifference, anger, annoyance. Because most of us have souls that fled somewhere in the early chaos, Leaving our hearts exposed to whatever change of wind life decides to blow.
She likes the view from on top. Classy woman. Exhausted from pretending, she strips all that is moral as the front door closes. And while night grows longer she scowls towards the bottom of the hill. Babbling to no one while smearing her red lipstick all over her wine glass. She doesn’t notice and wouldn’t care if she did, This is her bloody house! Nails long and made for pointing, Even the furniture inching its way towards the door. Messy girl. Finally, the bottle tucks her sloppy ass in with a kiss on the cheek and lovingly whispers, “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
I ran to the hills to catch a breath, a few breaths, some new fucking lungs. I needed time, Everyone needs time sometimes, Despite what we’re raised to believe.
I needed my memory and in these hills the last they were seen. The smell alone was enough, The cedar, the soil. And just as I suspected, they arrived.
Many say you can’t live in the past and I agree it can be a horrid place. But you also can’t heal what hasn’t been exposed. And there are few things I find more courageous than facing your greatest opponent.
Perfect for me,
When I’m reminded perfection is false,
I’m reminded that I have feeling,
that stretches further than myself.
And just as my day marked a new beginning, I saw an unapologetic period stamped on yours.
Because nothing feels as real as seeing your strange, lifeless body covered by a sheet,
And nothing feels less perfect than knowing your delicate spirit had to drift from the pavement of a lonely street.
What a beautiful line you balance. Taking in the world with grace, Gaining so much wisdom from being quiet, observant, stoic, Only to turn around and flip all that is stiff and serious, a jungle gym for your pleasure. Living between both worlds, Never hardening, only receiving. Softening at the perfect moments and finding room in the heaviest.